Submission Samples from the Comedy Genre

Title: Burning Bridges

Logline: Following a string of unfortunate events, Rick O'Shay must force his own termination. Who knew getting fired could be so difficult!?

Synopsis: Prior to the acquisition Rick was the epitome of professionalism and hard work. As his company is taken over he stands to inherit a large retention bonus and begin working for the hottest software company in the area. However Rick must now report to his archenemy and former peer, Ms. Chung. Furthermore the company institutes a policy where each employee must work an entire calendar year to receive the full bonus. He wants to quit but can't because the forfeited bonuses are deposited into a pool that management, including Ms. Chung, will split. His only option is to get fired and receive the entire bonus upon termination. When Ms. Chung gets wind of his plan he must play an escalating mind game to see who will crumble first. I'll gladly send a treatment of this outlandish comedy or complete manuscript. Thank you for your consideration.

Title: Get on top

Logline: A crime caper that intermingles eleven characters in a game of cat and mouse spawned by a corrupt political candidate.

Synopsis: Get on top WGA# 1142498 A political candidate gets his old friend out of prison to help him rig the state election. They hire a hitman to take care of the FBI agent that is tailing them. After failed assassination attempts by the hitman, two detectives investigate the evidence that is left behind. The same hitman picks up a contract placed on the head of the candidate by his own secretary, the payoff being the dirty money that funds the candidate's campaign. The candidate's associate helps to frame the competition on the day of the big debate, putting the candidate at the top of the polls. The candidate short changes his associate for a job well done. Meanwhile, after the final investigation by the detectives all signs are pointing to the candidate. With the associate wanting what is owed to him, the hitman trying to get the payoff on his contract, and the secretary chasing the score of a lifetime, they all find themselves at a showdown at the candidate's mansion.

Title: The Little Slugger

Logline: Who says midgets can't hit the long ball?

Synopsis: Champ Bigby is a midget who is terrible at everything. Champ can't catch a ball, making him a disgrace to his father for not following the Bigby tradition, baseball greatness. A Major League owner, who is in desperate need to fill his stadium, spots Champ playing catch. Champ is so hilariously inept, a large crowd gathers to watch and laugh. Champ is hired to play the outfield. The plan works as Champ's terrible play makes him an instant hit with fans. Champ's tiny strike zone draws him several walks until he disobeys an order not to swing. Champ surprises everyone with a homerun, making it apparent the he did inherit some of the baseball genes. Champ terrorizes the league with his tiny bat and leads the team of misfits to beat their arch-rival and win the pennant. WGA #1134515

Title: Grilled Cheese Virgin

Logline: 2008 Bluecat Screenplay Competition Winner -- Sponsored Staged Reading in LA, Monday, June 16 at 7:30 p.m.

Synopsis: Free LA Staged Reading for 2008 Bluecat Winner BlueCat is happy to present a free staged reading of Grilled Cheese Virgin by Steven Arvanites on Monday, June 16 at 7:30 p.m. at the women's club of Hollywood, located at 1749 North La Brea in Hollywood. Admission and parking is free! RSVP to MuddHillMovies@aol.com or 212-459-4222. Grilled Cheese Virgin was a recent finalist for the Sundance Screenwriting Lab, a semi-finalist for the Nicholl Fellowship and a finalist at Slamdance. Steven's screenplays have placed or won in over 15 competitions. The script is available for option. Logline: When a streetwise hooker and a devout pre-op tranny fry a grilled cheese sandwich with the image of the Virgin Mary seared in the bread, one makes it a business opportunity and the other sees the holy "relic" as her salvation. GORDY HOFFMAN will direct a professional cast of LA actors, as well as moderate a Q&A after the reading. Remember admission and parking is free!

Title: It's a Horrible Life

Logline: Love may come to those who wait, but after fourteen years with the same guy, even a reasonable girl has her limits.

Synopsis: Isaac's girlfriend, Hope, feels like Eleanor Rigby. She has patiently waited fourteen years for Isaac to pop the question. Isaac has spent fourteen years trying to avoid conversation. But when at a friend's wedding, Hope develops a reputation for beating up anyone who gets between her and a thrown bouquet, Isaac's days of being "happily unmarried" may be numbered. It will take an annoyingly good-looking rival to appear on the scene, a Frank Capra hallucination, and a persistent mugger to make Isaac realize how he truly feels about Hope. But he may be too late. My screenplay, "It's a Horrible Life", is a romantic comedy in the tradition of "Four Weddings and a Funeral" and "Groundhog Day". I'd like to send you my completed script of "It's a Horrible Life" for your review and possible representation. Thank you very much for your consideration.

Title: ROCK HARD

Logline: An idealistic teenager seeks the tutelage of a retired rock star to master rock'n'roll, win the battle of the bands and keep his best friend from moving for college.

Synopsis: Terrance dreams of musical greatness. So, when he hears about the local battle of the bands and a chance for a record deal he wants his best friend Dante to join his band. While Dante is hesitant at first, his last embarrassing "romantic" encounter convinces him otherwise. Together they assemble a talented but inexperienced band. But, with no actual experience they turn to their over the top guitar teacher Mac who used to be a rock legend in the 80's. Under the tutelage of Mac, the band morphs from a sloppy mess into a cohesive musical unit of awesomeness. Terrance gains the respect of his peers, while Dante finally gets his first girlfriend. All seems to be going well, until Dante decides to pursue his dream of film school and accept his scholarship to NYU. Feeling betrayed and alone, Terrance kicks Dante out of the band just days before the coveted Battle of the Bands. But in the end, nothing can break the bond of best friends.

Title: I Hate Old People

Logline: A twenty-something's hatred for old people causes him to learn a painful life lesson at the hands of those he hates.

Synopsis: Mike Carter's hatred for old people is visceral and mean-spirited and unhealthy. He refers to them derisively as FOPS, F...ing Old People, and never passes up an opportunity to harass or belittle them. Mike's behavior spirals out of control, until a weight lifting accident sends him hobbling to the doctor, who happens to be his Uncle. Uncle John has always known of Mike's hatred old people, but it's not until his Nana bust him with porn on his cell phone at church, that he decides to take action. He sells his medical practice, and retires and buys a Bed and Breakfast on the beach, where his mother grew up. It's here, with the help of a retired Medal of Honor winner and Nana's best friend from childhood, that he puts in motion an elaborate plan to humble Mike, changing his attitude for the rest of his days. When it's over, Mike pleads tearfully for forgiveness from his knees, and then utters pathetically, "You punked me, Nana?"

Title: Vampire Academy

Logline: Vampire Academy is a "mockumentary" set in the religiously fundamentalist town of Fishkill, which is thrown into turmoil when a mysterious outsider opens a school for aspiring vampires.

Synopsis: You may be surprised to learn that evangelical Christians share a number of tastes and interests with the modern vampire, among them softball, pickled eggs and music by The Doobie Brothers. But, sadly, these commonalities are often overshadowed by rash judgment and misunderstanding ... In Vampire Academy, Edgar KlopKlophenhoffen opens a school that teaches personal and professional growth through the modern vampire lifestyle. His good intentions are vehemently challenged by Reverend Bonaventure, the fire and brimstone spouting preacher who worries the Vampire Academy will damage the souls of those who might otherwise be saved. Vampire Academy was written in response to the proven demand for mockumentaries like Best in Show and Waiting for Guffman - and the current lack of competition (with Christopher Guest) in this sub-category. We'd appreciate you considering representation of our script.

Title: Whitebites

Logline: A pudgy, pouting former ace newspaper reporter gets his wife and life back thanks to his inventive hobby -- and a little push from an upwardly mobile prostitute.

Synopsis: Overweight. Under-motivated. Past his best-before date. Once-prolific feature writer and would-be inventor Larry Sorensen just can't seem to finish anything he starts. He doesn't have a clue what he wants anymore. It's only after his unsympathetic wife tells him goodbye that he eventually finds something he DOES want: he wants her back. And a young "escort" who had come oh-so-close to waylaying him during his newfound freedom agrees to help out, putting the squeeze on a few well connected clients in exchange for a piece of Wally's invention.

Title: Oh No! Not You Again!

Logline: The FBI calls them crimes, but Martha calls it "Survival."

Synopsis: Martha Lantari, is a divorced woman living in NJ with her teenage daughter, Melissa. She loses her job, is evicted from her condo and her car repossessed. Forced to move in with Martha's mother, Anna and Martha's crazy brother, John, she turns to a life of white collar crime which she calls "survival." Martha has the ability to pursue many career paths but always seems to lose jobs and fall back to illegal tactics. Martha gets a settlement and buys a house in a fake name. Another job lost, she files for bankruptcy with a phony file number. The FBI is notified and Martha is arrested for bankruptcy fraud. She takes a plea and receives two years probation. She's assigned to a lunatic but funny PO named, Latasha, who falls in love with Martha's family and they love her. Martha finds another job but is downsized again. Feeling her life spiraling down, Martha tries to go back to her life of "survival" but with Latasha near by it is almost impossible. Will Martha ever learn?