Synopsis: Jailed in Beverly Hills for stealing a cheesburger and peeing on a car at the mini-mart, Simon Shalinski, a small time thief and pot-head, is faced with a choice. He must go straight and get his high school diploma, or Judge Hand will put him in prison! On his way home from jail, Simon steals a pizza and a 60's disco suit -- then hits his head on a stop sign and knocks himself unconscious while gawking at a girl's enormous breasts as she crosses the street. With a huge crooked scar across his forehead, driven by his thirst for money, power, and poontang, Simon becomes the dreaded drug-lord, Tony Spinello and re-lives the story of SCARFACE -- only to find that his hero's life of crime isn't all it's cracked up to be.
Synopsis: It's simple. Fifty hilarious, and never before seen, public stunts, across the fifty states of the United States. And with the curiosity of over 300 million citizens living in the country alone, the wonderment of what stunt took place in their home state, should be interesting.
Synopsis: Zach is a gloriously underachieving supermarket worker who was adopted from Japan when his adoptive parents realized they couldn't afford to adopt a white kid. Wanting to find some sort of meaning in his pathetic life, Zach searches for his birth-parents online, only to find his father is really a wealthy hermaphroditic business owner in Japan named Kami Kamiko. Zach visits his father's company, hoping to find his niche within his father's business, but screws up every attempt which ultimately leads to his father's untimely (but hilarious) death, and Zach's taking over of the company. After repeated and misguided attempts to run his father/mother's business (such as a free hooker day to boost morale), a frustrated Zach sells his company. Zach has a near-death experience after eating a poisonous blowfish wherein his dead father convinces him to fight to get back his company. One training montage later, Zach is victorious and finds a shallow new direction in life.
Synopsis: WGA registraton #994323 Charlotte's best friend Eileen overhears her husband relate a Charlotte sex fantasy to his best friend and takes it for the real thing. Outraged, she orders a hit on Charlotte. Stefan must comply when his cousin's mafioso boss calls in the loan he used to complete his veterinarian education. A "one time hit" will erase the loan, he says, or else. Stefan reluctantly scopes out his intended victim. Pinky the dog wants revenge on the man who shot him and left him for dead. He bides his time in snarly loyalty at Stefan's side. Stefan is love-struck. Too late; he discovers she is his hit. Charlotte overhears her new love interest on the phone. Is he some kind of mafia hitman? Pinky is elated. He has found a familiar scent that may put him on the trail of his assassin. This whimsical romantic comedy can be uploaded, or I can send a hard copy. Best regards, Elfi. 011 52 998 885 0525
Synopsis: The spoiled host of a popular survival TV show discovers it's not easy to keep a secret - that he has no survival skills at all - when he's forced to go on a real nature challenge to win the girl he loves and get his show renewed. Trouble comes into Ted's life when he runs into a sincere woman who believes in his fake persona, and a rival who wants to take the girl for his own and run Ted's show into the ground as well. Ted has to gear up to face the yearly Survival Challenge to win the Peary Cup before his rival does. The problem is that the contest is judged all the way down the line, so Ted has to face the wild on his own, without his crew and support team. When tragedy strikes and lives are on the line, Ted pulls it together at the last minute, and finds that he really does have the power to not be a fake after all.
Synopsis: In rural Batesville, Texas, nerdy high school virgin and sci-fi aficionado JACK BURTON yearns for a life free from locker room wedgies and awkward dinner table conversation with his oddball family. Things start to look up for Jack when a sultry new girl enrolls at school and takes interest in him. But while Jack is blinded by teenage lust, the sexy, other-worldly creature stealthily plants the seeds for a full-scale eradication of humanity by impregnating local redneck men with her species. It all hits the fan as an army of flesh-eating alien babies swarms the town, forcing Jack and his family to overcome their hilarious demons, fulfill their ridiculous destinies and save the human race.
Synopsis: David Garrett, veteran of the Vietnam War, is running a small hotel in a coastal town with his wife Sandra. He often gets drunk to relive, in a romantic way, his various military campaigns. During a hurricane, he swears to Sandra to never touch a drink again if the hotel escaped destruction - which he managed to escape. Years later, a strange young man named Jerry Mitchell erupts into their lives. The now teetotalling Garrett soon starts to like this endearing young man, who happens to also have drinking problems - which Sandra fears will tempt her husband. My screenplay "Lost In Winter" is a comedy-drama with strong dialogues, and is reminiscent of "As Good As It Gets".
Synopsis: Two discontented Jim Morrison-loving twentysomethings from the Midwest decide to "break on through" to a new life in Los Angeles to seek stardom. They endure a harrowing road trip to L.A., while encountering two escaped convicts, a Nazi band, a cute waitress, and her crazed husband who is a black redneck. Once in L.A., they encounter one failure after another, and eventually hit rock bottom. Their choices are to head back to the Midwest in failure or to enter a potentially lucrative music video contest. In order to have the money with which to create their music video, they do a delivery job for a small-time Marlon Brando "Godfather"-loving Russian mobster, which is complicated by re-encountering the escaped cons, the Nazi band, the black redneck, as well as a Harley gang and the police. After not hearing back from the contest, they believe they lost. However, they eventually find the lost letter indicating that they won. Furthermore, they both win the girls they meet along the way.
Synopsis: The 3 have been friends since middle school. Jason is the good looking smart-aleck personality, small-claims and ticket lawyer who married the prom queen in a mistaken identity blind date. Ken is short, bald, married to a Canadian mail order bride & self employed rent-to-own furniture store owner that has Jason on a retainer so their lives are always intertwined. Dave is the over 6 feet tall 300 pound high school dropout who owns a failing pressure cleaning business and frequently relies on Ken and Jason for support. The three of them always start out having fun together but like your mother says too much laughter becomes crying. Too Much Laughter Becomes Crying is registered with the Writers' Guild of America East.
Synopsis: Lucious Washington, Henry Xa, and Wang Wong Lee are three computer network specialists who can connect computers but cannot seem to connect with the ladies so they decide to give an Asian brides service a try. Their trip abroad takes them to a small town in Vietnam, Dong Dang, where they do meet some women they like (actually undercover Chinese secret service there to break up mafia), but then are immediately and completely ripped off and left hanging. They are then faced with the task of trying to get home. North Vietnam is an exotic place with some pretty odd characters and they have some wild adventures. The trio finally makes it to Hanoi and the U.S. Embassy, and end up finding one of the guys, Phuc, who ripped them off, but he pulls them into a confrontation with his boss, Mr. Big - a man leading an unusual double life. They end up on Big's chopping block, but are in the end saved by the secret service gals and leave Vietnam with pride and brides, and some serious cash.